Being More Social in Long-Term Alcohol Recovery (5 Tips)
1 - Join The Sober Internet
Sober community is abundant online - you’ll even find “niches” within sober content like “cali-sober” creators or sober mamas. Trust, like-minded folks are out there!
Whether you talk openly about your sobriety all the time or once a year, you can still connect with sober groups online. Conversations with people facing similar challenges can help you learn, feel less alone, and find new motivation.
Instagram was the first place I found an online recovery community. I’d been listening to the Seltzer Squad Podcast and went to Instagram to see if they were active. Little did I know, it wasn’t just them, by a long shot. In the late 2010s, an alcohol-free online community began to thrive with groups like 1000 Hours Dry and blogs such as The Temper.
I noticed places like NYC, Seattle, and of course, California were actually doing “sober things” in person, pre-pandemic. When that “2020 storm” hit, a lot of things were messed up, including for the non-alcoholic industry.
But we had the internet!
I had an anonymous social media account for the first time in my life at 22 years old because I needed to connect with more people like myself, in a state (Wisconsin) consistently ranked as one of the most severe in terms of overconsumption of alcohol.
I was absolutely living in a culture hyper-focused on drinking, and being online helped me see a way out of that.
Sober Instagram taught me that a person could be “sober-curious,” a term I didn’t hear until about a year of being alcohol-free! I also learned about “harm reduction” from Kayla Lyons, author of Soberish: The Science-Based Guide to Taking Your Power Back from Alcohol.
And now, I probably know a sober person in half the states in the US.
The friends I’ve been lucky enough to connect with online have been and will continue to be empowering forces in my recovery journey!
2 - Finding Local Events
If you’ve been sober for maybe a year or more and you’re still cooped up, it’s time to try being with people again! I say this as someone who’s been alcohol-free and working remotely for years - I know how easy it is to “forget” about socializing.
When someone quits drinking, sometimes, people stop inviting them out and that can be tough to deal with. Or the places you used to go no longer feel like the energy you’re looking for.
Things change, and for some of us, just sticking to ourselves becomes easier, but I promise we do deserve more.
I’ve been so inspired by pop-up AF event planners like Zero-Proofed and The Zero-Proof Social, creating experiences we’ve never seen before that are inclusive and FUN!
Search for alcohol-free events in your area - try to be as specific as you can with your words when searching like “alcohol-free Dallas, Texas March 2024.” If you don’t find anything, try expanding your search to the surrounding areas. Booze-free communities are popping up all over, and chances are there’s one (at least kind of) near you.
However, if you can’t find anything sober or sober-curious focused, try looking into wellness and self-development events/workshops/groups - it’s generally a similar-ish crowd!
3 - Consider Enrolling in a Community
Even though AA is a wonderful resource, the options have diversified in recent years to include more coaches, peer-run groups, and more. However, many community options do require payment, while AA does not.
IMO, it’s more than beneficial to be active in a community that meets your needs.
If you’ve been in recovery for a while and feel “stalled,” like you’re not drinking but still not progressing in certain areas, I would recommend looking into coaching or group programs.
In the same way entrepreneurs have business coaches to maintain the strength of their work, it’s smart to invest in someone who can help you meet long-term wellness goals.
Any time you’re hiring a service-based professional, you’ll want to check for certifications, previous client recommendations, or accreditation and do the proper research before making a decision.
Again, it’s just about finding the right fit for you!
Here are a few groups I recommend:
✦ Steady Sunday
✦ No Booze Crew
✦ Monument
✦ The Luckiest Club
✦ Smart Recovery
✦ The Phoenix
✦ Sober Squeeze
✦ Sober Girl Society
✦ Join Soberish
✦ Boozeless Book Club
4 - Find Your Passion
The first few months or even years of sobriety will be challenging in ways you will never be able to predict, but not without purpose. Those challenges often help us learn more about ourselves and what it is we want from life. Use that knowledge to try something new!
When you hit the “feeling stable” stage of recovery but are still looking to elevate personally, diving into passion is a solid next step.
I deeply believe creativity is healing and that you have an inherent creative energy within you already. Think about what brings you joy or where you feel you could make a difference - passion can come from anywhere.
Embracing a thing you love will provide new opportunities to connect with others.
I recently interviewed Erika Desroches, founder of The Zero Proof Social, a Dallas-based non-alcoholic beverage pop-up experience.
When I asked her why she started this venture, she stated:
“Before I went alcohol-free, I found myself feeling unfulfilled in my friendships and relationships. The inception of The Zero Proof Social was rooted in my own desire for authentic connections, free from the influence of mind-altering substances. At the time, I was unable to find these places or alcohol-free events to go to in my city, so I decided to start hosting alcohol-free pop-up events.”
Erika is a beautiful example of the way I often see people finding their passions in sobriety, as I’ve found mine with writing and blogging.
Finding something positive to focus on doesn't have to be complicated (or monetized).
I’d recommend starting small!
You might not end up pursuing the first thing you try - be open to the idea of exploring with an open mind. An example of starting simple might be crafting, outreach work, consulting, gardening, hiking, etc.
Once you’ve found something you love, see if you can find groups that center around “your thing” or people who also enjoy your passion.
5 - Podcast Episodes
One resource I live for when it comes to my recovery is podcasts.
There’s something very healing about hearing someone explain exactly what you’ve been wondering, thinking, or worrying about.
A few helpful episodes on being social:
We Can Do Hard Things (episode 180) - The Secret to Making and Keeping Friends
Morning Microdose (episode 66) - Connection, Boundaries, and Finding Your Tribe
The Psychology of Your 20s (episode 46) - Making Friends in Your 20s
Life Kit (episode 526) - A Friendship Expert Shares The Science of Making and Keeping Friends
Tell Me Something True (episode 39) - AMA with Laura on Friendship
Tell Me Something True (episode 39) - AMA with Laura on Intimacy, Creativity, Making Friends, and Early Sobriety
This Naked Mind (episode 410) - Do I Need to Cut Ties With My Drinking Friends?
This Naked Mind (episode 665) - Naked Life Story - Marci R
Sober Gay Podcast (episode 51) - Tess Drive
More Than Sobriety (episode 13) - Sobriety, Social Media, and Comparison
