Today, I’m talking about the terms “flex drinking” and “flexi-drinker.”

Keep in mind, I’m not a coach, mental health professional, doctor, or sobriety expert, I’m a person who’s been in recovery for over four years, an alcohol recovery advocate, and a writer working in the non-alcoholic beverage industry.

What is Flex Drinking?

I’d heard the term flex drinking maybe once before, but the first time I heard someone try to explain it, I was listening to the More Than Sobriety Podcast.

Meg, the host, had Vanessa Royle, alcohol-free co-founder of Tilden, on her podcast for an incredible interview. Here’s what Vanessa had to say about what she called flexi-drinking:

V- “For sober-curious, we call it… flexi-drinker.”

M- “I like flexi-drinker because I don’t know if you’ve heard the term damp drinker, but I don’t like it.”

V- “Yeah, I think flexi is almost “techy,” which is probably why I like it, but it feels more descriptive of what it actually is, versus damp just gives me weird visuals.”

I agree with them here in that flex drinking is way better than damp drinking, and easily a better visual. 😂

With a similar explanation, Proof No More, a virtual non-alcoholic bottle shop, posted about flex-drinking, describing it as “a newly emerging trend in how people choose to drink, for people who still consume alcohol every now and then, but have chosen to replace most alcoholic beverages with non-alcoholic options instead.”

In my research for this post, I noticed there isn’t a ton of existing chatter on this term, and most of the mentions are happening in the UK or New Zealand. I did, however, find mention of the term “flex-sober” from Athletic Brewing’s co-founder, Bill Shufelt, in a 2022 interview with Business Insider, where he mentions the company is hoping to attract more flex-sober drinkers “who want to drink without the consequences.”

I’d love to see flex drinking take up more space in North America!

My friend and fellow sober community member, Jessa Frances, had this to say:

“Flexi drinking is the more common term used in the UK for mindful drinking meaning that a person is choosing to take more control of their drinking habits by consuming both alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks to maintain balance.”

Are You a Flexi-Drinker?

Maybe you’re evaluating your relationship with alcohol.

Maybe you don’t drink that often, but when you do, you’re not enjoying the effects.

Maybe you enjoy having a drink and don’t have a problem moderating, but still don’t like the hangover anxiety or headache.

Maybe you’ve already been swapping out some of your usual alcoholic beverages with non-alcoholic options.

Maybe you’re more excited about drinking for the flavor than you are about “getting drunk.”

My Personal Opinion:

I believe that having a term you can use with confidence is helpful, like flex drinking, mindful drinking, or flexi-drinker.

My question is, what’s the difference in terminology between someone who CAN moderate/chooses to drink less for physical/mental health and someone who is genuinely sober-curious, leaning into sobriety, and likely CAN’T moderate?

Are flex-drinkers sober-curious? The answer is probably… some yes, and some no.

I wouldn’t say my friend who easily switches to Athletic Brewing beers when training for marathons and my friend who is trying to cut back because of regret and hangover anxiety, are both “flex-drinkers,” even though they may drink the same amount.

I would consider flex drinking, for the most part, in line with mindful drinking.

I think the term mindful drinking gives away more of your intentions, but I always thought mindful drinking was a lovely way to describe the process of evaluating your relationship with alcohol.

The terms are ever-expanding in the sober community because more people are finding healing with less shame. I’m here for all the terms.🤷🏻‍♀️

If you’re feeling nervous about socializing without drinking, just know that it’s normal to feel awkward or anxious at first.

In her book, Sober Curious, Ruby Warrington writes “You will likely feel some sort of discomfort… after all, you’re going against neural pathways that have been shaping your brain since the day you started drinking.”

Give yourself time, and space to make mistakes and process difficult emotions that surface when evaluating your relationship with alcohol.

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