Affirmations for Friends and Family of Someone in Recovery
If your loved one is struggling with an addiction or substance use disorder or considers themselves to be in recovery from something - affirmations may be helpful for you.
The friends and family of someone in recovery might feel helpless or powerless in the situation, whether that’s for a few months or many years.
Feeling helpless doesn’t happen to all friends and family members, but when it does happen, those emotions can be difficult to deal with and bring anxiousness because of the constant uncertainty.
Affirmations, when used correctly, can help you find clarity and center yourself amid anxiety and intense feelings. They can also aid in shifting your mindset or fighting excessive negative thoughts.
Like meditation, affirmations might seem like an “overly simple” concept that couldn’t possibly have an impact on complicated issues like being supportive of a friend in recovery - but they can!
My Tips for Using Affirmations:
what you say matters - it needs to actually resonate with you
write down your affirmations
make new ones however often you need
say affirmations out loud
use them when you need to hold firm on a boundary
use them during negative thought spirals
Questions You May Be Asking Yourself:
Why do they seemingly choose this thing over me?
Why does it feel like they don’t care what happens to them?
Why can’t they see I’m hurting because of this?
Am I not enough for this person to change?
Could I have done something to prevent this?
Why is it so hard to “do nothing” and let them make their own decisions?
How can I feel at peace with this?
Why do I feel helpless?
Remember, having thoughts and questions like this is normal, but try to focus on what’s within your control. There are some questions about our loved ones for which we may never have answers. and that’s okay.
Affirmations for Family & Friends of Someone in Recovery:
Caring for myself is caring for those around me.
I did not cause this person’s behavior.
I have no control over someone else’s future.
The only life I can control is my own.
I can ask for help too.
I’m focusing on what’s within my control.
I’ve done my best and that’s all I can do.
I am allowed to speak up for myself.
Boundaries are healthy, normal, and necessary.
My needs are as important as other people's.
I can love someone and also set boundaries.
I can love someone and also take time away from them.
I accept that I’ve done all I can do.
Quotes from Al-Anon Family Groups:
“While these loved ones may not meet our expectations, it is our expectations, not our loved ones, that have let us down.”
“I must learn to give those I love the right to make their own mistakes and recognize them as theirs alone.”
“One day I made a connection between my medical condition and my struggle with recovery. I began to look at myself as having 'arthritis of the personality,' requiring patient, continuous care to keep me from 'stiffening' into old habits and attitudes. This care includes attending meetings, reading Al-Anon literature, calling my sponsor, and engaging in service. Now, as long as I practice patience, recovery is a manageable and adventurous process instead of an arduously sought endpoint.”
Disclaimer: I’m a soberish (alcohol-free) writer in recovery with 4+ years of experience. I’m not a doctor, mental health professional, or medical professional. This blog post is not medical advice. I suggest consulting your care providers before making any changes.